Reconnecting With What Matters

Updated: Sep 19

A values-based guide for moments when you feel lost, stuck, or disconnected

When life feels crowded with worries or weighed down by the pace of it all, it’s easy to drift from what matters most. You might find yourself moving on autopilot—busy, reactive, or tangled in loops—without a clear sense of why.

Reconnecting with your values isn’t about perfect clarity. It’s about pausing long enough to remember what feels meaningful and true, even in messy seasons.

Couple walks their dog on a leash through a forest path. Trees surround them, with scattered orange leaves on the ground, creating a serene mood.

What Are Values?

Values are the deeper threads that guide how you want to live. They’re not goals to achieve, but directions to move toward—like a compass you can return to.

Examples might include being a present parent, speaking honestly, caring for your body with respect, or seeking connection, creativity, or courage. Values can shift and soften over time; what matters is noticing what feels alive for you right now.

Gentle Ways to Reconnect

You don’t need big steps. Small pauses can open the door:

Ask yourself: What do I care about, even now? Who do I want to be in this moment?
Notice what’s already here: maybe it’s showing up for a friend despite your own pain, or making a choice that reflects care or integrity.
Name your values: jot down a few words that resonate, or reflect on meaningful moments in your life.
Take one small step: send a kind message, step outside for fresh air, say no to something draining, or yes to something that lights you up.

When Values Feel Far Away

In times of burnout, grief, or depression, values can feel distant. That doesn’t mean you don’t care—it often means your system is protecting you by going into survival mode.

In those moments, gentleness matters more than clarity. You might remind yourself:

It makes sense that I feel distant right now.
Even if I can’t feel them, my values are still part of me.
The fact that I’m reaching for this page means something still matters.

Additional Resources

Clarifying Your Values

This worksheet, created by Dr. Russ Harris, offers a simple way to explore and reflect on your core values. It can help you think about what matters most in different areas of life, and consider small steps that move you closer to those values.

List of Values

This downloadable list, compiled by Brené Brown, provides a wide range of values to reflect on. It can be used alongside the Clarifying Your Values worksheet or on its own, helping you identify the words that most resonate with you.

Reconnecting with values isn’t about becoming a better version of yourself. It’s about remembering what helps you feel most like you—even if that sense only flickers for a moment. You can return to it again and again.