Supporting Children with an Overactive Flight Response
- The Grove Psychology Practice
- Apr 1
- 3 min read
Updated: Sep 19
For caregivers whose child seems anxious, restless, avoidant, or always on the move
What Is the Flight Response?
The flight response is one of the body’s natural ways of protecting itself when something feels overwhelming or unsafe. In children, it doesn’t always mean running away—it can look like restlessness, shutting down, avoiding closeness, or “escaping” into fantasy, screens, or withdrawal.
Sometimes children even bolt toward danger—running near roads or leaving classrooms in distress. These moments can be frightening, but at the core, flight is not misbehaviour. It’s the nervous system’s way of saying: “This feels too much. I need to get away.”
Why Children Flee
A child might rely on flight when:
Safety hasn’t always felt consistent
Big emotions or conflict feel overwhelming
Sensory sensitivities heighten stress
They lack tools to name or regulate feelings
Avoidance has felt safer than staying present
Instead of asking “Why are they doing this?” we can gently wonder, “What are they trying to escape from?”
When Flight Becomes Concerning
Occasional avoidance is normal. But when flight becomes a primary coping strategy, it may disrupt:
Learning and classroom participation
Friendships and social connection
Safety at home or in public spaces
The ability to ask for help or express needs
Over time, this can leave children feeling anxious, misunderstood, or disconnected.
Supporting a Child in Flight
1. Safety First
If your child tends to run, create a plan together: identify safe places (quiet corners, sensory rooms, a trusted adult) and reassure them, “You don’t have to run far—you can run to safety.”
2. Co-Regulate Before Correcting
When activated, children need presence before logic. Offer calm words: “You’re okay. I’m here.” If you need a pause yourself, narrate it gently: “I’ll take a moment to calm my body so I can help yours.”
3. Explore When Calm
Later, invite curiosity: “What does it feel like just before you run?” Drawing or metaphors (like a deer running when scared) can help them share.
4. Support the Nervous System
Use body-based strategies such as jumping, swinging, stress balls, or countdowns. Help them notice early cues: “Are your legs wiggly? Is your chest tight?”
5. Hold the Bigger Picture
Flight patterns often reflect trauma, sensory overload, or unmet needs. This doesn’t mean you’re failing. It means the child is doing their best to find safety.
Additional Resources
Exploring the Internal Experiences of Fight, Flight, Freeze, and Collapse
This Beacon House resource looks beneath behaviours to explore what might be happening inside the nervous system when a child—or adult—feels overwhelmed. It also includes conversation starters for parents and caregivers to help children make sense of the fight, flight, freeze, or collapse parts of the brain.
When Big Feelings Take Over
This resource from Beacon House is designed for parents and carers to use with children who are experiencing overwhelming feelings. It offers simple, engaging ways to talk about anxiety, sadness, fear, or any “big feelings” that can feel too much.
Butterflies
Many children notice the sensation of “butterflies in their tummy” when they feel anxious or unsettled. This creative Beacon House resource helps parents and caregivers talk with children about those sensations and what they might mean, making it easier to explore feelings together in a safe and playful way.
When Responses Are Mixed
Children may shift between fight, flight, freeze, fawn, or collapse. These are all protective states, shaped by nervous system responses—not character flaws. Polyvagal theory (a way of understanding how our nervous system moves between connection and protection) reminds us that connection returns only when the body begins to feel safe.
When to Seek Support
Consider reaching out if:
Safety, school, or relationships are at risk
You feel like you’re “walking on eggshells”
You’re unsure how to respond or stay calm
Parenting feels exhausting or discouraging
Therapy can support both children and caregivers—helping children find safer ways to regulate, and helping parents respond with steadiness rather than frustration.
