Something Kinder to Say to Yourself

A collection of phrases to try when your inner voice feels harsh, blank, or overwhelmed.

This page offers short, compassionate phrases you might turn to in difficult moments—especially when your inner voice feels critical, silent, or stuck. Research on self-compassion shows that the way we speak to ourselves matters: words of kindness can calm stress, ease shame, and support resilience over time.

You don’t need to use these phrases exactly as written. Some may resonate, others may not. You might adapt the wording, create your own version, or simply notice how they feel as you read. There’s no single right way to begin—only an opportunity to practise something kinder.

Heart-shaped leaf in soft earthy tones, symbolising gentleness, self-compassion, and the quiet strength of nature.

When You’re Being Hard on Yourself

I’m allowed to be learning.
Of course this is hard. It makes sense that I’m struggling.
I can be human and still be worthy of care.
I’m doing the best I can with what I have.
This doesn’t make me a bad person. It makes me someone who’s hurting.
I’m noticing that inner critic. It’s loud today. I don’t have to believe everything it says.

When You Feel Shut Down or Blank

I don’t need to force clarity. I can stay with this moment as it is.
My mind is protecting me in the way it knows how.
Numbness is a response, not a failure.
I can be gentle with myself here.
There’s nothing wrong with needing to pause.
I’m not broken. I’m coping.

When You Feel Anxious or Overwhelmed

It’s okay to take this moment by moment.
My nervous system is working hard right now. I can support it gently.
I don’t need to solve everything at once.
I’m allowed to rest, even if things feel unfinished.
I’m noticing how much I’m holding. It makes sense this feels like too much.
One breath at a time is enough right now.

When You're Focused on Body Sensations

My body is reacting, but I’m not in danger right now.
It’s okay to notice my heart racing without trying to fix it.
This sensation will pass. I’ve felt it before and come through.
I don’t have to make sense of every feeling right now.
I can be with this experience gently, without spiraling into fear.
My nervous system is doing its job. I can help it settle.

When You Feel Like You’ve Failed

Mistakes don’t mean I’m unworthy.
I can be kind to myself even here.
This is part of being human.
I don’t need to be perfect to be loved or respected.
I can learn without punishing myself.
I’m still deserving of care.

When You Feel Unworthy of Care

I matter, even when I don’t feel like I do.
Needing support doesn’t make me weak.
Everyone deserves compassion. That includes me.
It’s okay to receive care, even if I’m not used to it.
I don’t have to earn gentleness.
My pain is real, and I’m allowed to tend to it.

When Feelings Are Too Much

These feelings are big, but I don’t have to go through them alone.
It’s okay to take breaks from hard emotions.
I’m allowed to feel deeply. There’s nothing wrong with that.
Emotions move. This moment will shift, too.
I can let the feeling be here without letting it take over everything.
I’m not too much. I’m just feeling a lot right now.

When You’ve Just Done Something Brave

That took courage. I’m proud of myself for showing up.
I can honour the effort, not just the outcome.
I did something hard. That matters.
I showed up for myself. That counts.
It’s okay if I feel tender afterward.
I can let this be enough for now.

A Closing Note

Self-compassion isn’t always easy—especially if it wasn’t modelled for us, or if survival once depended on self-criticism or shutting down. This list isn’t a script, but an offering: a place to start noticing what a kinder voice might sound like inside you. You can adapt any phrase, write your own, or simply read them when you’re not sure what to say. There is no wrong way to begin.

These phrases reflect themes highlighted in self-compassion research and compassion-focused approaches, such as those developed by Dr. Kristin Neff. They draw on three core elements: mindful awareness of suffering (“This is hard”), a sense of common humanity (“I’m not alone in this”), and gentle self-kindness (“I can be tender with myself”).