Kirsten Williams,
Psychologist & Child Psychotherapist
The Grove Psychology Practice
The Gardens Medical Centre
Understanding Nervous System Responses
When something feels too much, too fast, or not safe, our nervous system steps in to protect us. Responses—like fight, flight, freeze, or shutdown—aren’t flaws. they’re our body’s way of coping.
​Sometimes, our reactions feel bigger than the moment—or arrive before we even know what’s happening. We might snap, shut down, avoid, over-explain, freeze, or completely zone out. These responses can be confusing or distressing, especially when they show up in our relationships, parenting, work, or daily life. But they’re not flaws or failures. They’re the nervous system’s way of trying to protect us.
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When something feels overwhelming or unsafe—whether it's a sudden stressor or the echo of a past experience—your body may shift into a survival mode. These patterns often form outside of conscious thought. They’re not choices; they’re deeply wired protective strategies shaped by our histories, our environments, and our biology.​
Common Protective Responses
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Each nervous system response has its own rhythm, pace, and story. Most people experience more than one at different times—or even a mix. These are not deliberate choices, but involuntary shifts in the body’s survival system—automatic ways the nervous system tries to protect us when something feels too much.
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Here are some of the most common patterns:
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Fight – Mobilising against the threat. May look like anger, control, defensiveness, or intense energy.
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Flight – Trying to escape the threat. Might show up as anxiety, avoidance, restlessness, or being constantly “on.”
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Freeze – Becoming still or stuck. Can feel like numbness, overwhelm, fogginess, or zoning out.
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Fawn – Appeasing to stay safe. Might include people-pleasing, over-accommodating, or self-erasing tendencies.
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Collapse – Shutting down when there’s no way out. Can feel like hopelessness, exhaustion, or physical disconnection.
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Mixed States – Many people shift between states or carry blended responses—like collapsing after a fight, or freezing while smiling.
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These responses are shaped by story, not character. With support, it’s possible to understand them with more compassion and to build flexibility, steadiness, and choice.
Working with the Nervous System
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Therapy can help by paying attention to both body and mind. This may involve noticing when your system shifts into survival modes, using grounding or movement to find steadier states, and building safety in the therapy relationship. Over time, body-based and mind-based strategies can come together, not to erase these responses, but to create more space for steadiness, connection, and choice.
Read More
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Breathing and Grounding Practices
Practical strategies to help the body and mind settle, supporting regulation in everyday moments.​
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Links to articles and information sheets on themes such as nervous system responses, self-compassion, trauma recovery, parenting, and more.
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